Just found out today that my baby boy got engaged...now understand that he is 31 but in my heart it just seems like yesterday he was in to skateboards, baseball and junior golf. He was such a fun kid. He had such a great personality and his smile would melt the heart of even the most hardened teacher (which he often had to use) He was not into school but loved to learn. His middle name as a little boy was 'WHY?" You could answer and then he would ask why then another why. He graduated from high school (not sure he ever finished a book) but did quite well and played golf so well he won a golf scholarship to Va Tech. After a couple of years felt it was too cold and he really wanted to go to Carolina (much to my dismay since I was teaching at NC State) but it was the right decision for him and while I think he majored in golf, he did manage to get a degree in Economics. He move to Charleston, then Charlotte and now lives in New York. I had hoped he would come home before he met that special someone but God had other plans and has blessed him with a beautiful young lady who I believe really is his soul-mate. Call it Mom's intuition or instinct but I knew when I met her she was the one...he had described the kind of girl he wanted and Ginni certainly was the picture.

I am so proud of him....not sad that I will be giving him away to another woman but know that with Ginni I will always have my son. A mothers love just grows and embraces all those who love her children. I love my son-in-law like my own so know that Ginni will be another daughter.

Loss if a Leader

There have been so many beautiful tributes to Senator Kennedy that one more would seem trite but when you have spent your adult life watching the Kennedy family it feels very personal when one of them passes away. Teddy use to be my least favorite of all. I really, really liked John and when he won the election (I was in the 7th grade) I remember deciding that I wanted to be in politics. I choose not to do so but did stay in public service arena giving my entire professional career to heping those less fortunate. After 40 years of doing this work I am still inspired by the messages of all of the Kennedy clan. Yes they were blessed with money but they could have easily done what a lot of peole do that have money...spend it on themselves and forget that the world is not all like them. The Kennedy's used their power and influence to help us all remember that those who are less fortunate need our help. As they rejouice in heaven, let us pray their legacy lives on.

Old and young

Emma, my first grandchild called last night ..twice! The first time was to tell me she was going to lose her first tooth and the second time to call to tell me she lost it! She was so excited! Seems funny since my husband (who just turned 61) was almost in tears when he told me had lost another tooth! Funny how things change over time! When you are little you can't wait to get old and lose your teeth when you are old all you can talk about is how you wish you were younger and your teeth did not fall out.

The sands of time. Notice how they seem to drop faster the older you get?

We had an awesome Education Ball...it was the best ever. We had a complete sell out thanks to so many people who helped to sell tickets and get folks involved...we already have folks volunteering for next year to dance!! The sponsors were very happy ....a grest thing to have and they all said they were coming back next year! Watch our website for lots of new footage and picture next week. Amazing week!!!

The deaths of several famous people this week serves to remind us that fame and fortune do not guarantee you will really live to see or enjoy it. Certainly the life of Michael Jackson as gifted as he is was a mixture of both triumph and happy days and huge depths of despair. Whether Michael was guilty or unjustly accused we will never know. His judgement on that awaits him as he leaves this earthly place but that he gave his gift of music to the world is indisputable. I am glad there was a Michael Jackson because at least for his brief time he made the world sing and dance. He made people from all cultures sing the same language at least for a brief period of time. He made people near and far celebrate in the common language of talent. Thank you Michael.

Farrah Fawcett also gave us a beautiful and gifted smile and made us laugh and cry at her talent. She stood in the face of death and defied its toll on her life. She also had dignity in her final days and tried to share her pain so that others would know they are not alone in the battle to fight one of the most devasting diseases of our time. Fawah with her golden smile, lovely locks and sweet disposition taught us that beauty can be inside and out.

Good bye to two great talents who have left us a better place for having them grace us.

Long, hot day coming to an end. One more day in Memphis before heading home to the beach and then to Raleigh.

This is way too cool! I like putting this in one time and then I don't have to go to all of my contacts!

I know I have been really slack about writing but been so busy trying to raise money for CIS that I have lost track of time.  I think I see some light!!   We are continuing to get good corporate support in spite of the recession and quite honestly I am pleased with a possible 10% cut in the state budget (we got cut 20% two years ago) so all in all could be worse.

The good news is that our programs are working.  We graduated 44 students this week from our PLC in Fayetteville and 64 in Charlotte.  What a great week..more news to come!!  

I have not written in awhile..not because I did not have some thoughts but because things just have been kinda crazy.  We are waiting to find out if all the hard work we have put in for the last twenty years is gong to go backwards because of all the budget cuts.  Very discouraging to see how much money we are going to lose at both the state and local level which will affect the kids we serve but also threatens jobs of folks who have dedicated their lives to help those less fortunate.  CIS has made huge progress serving over 160,000 kids last year.  It would be very discouraging if things were not improving but the sad fact is we had one of our best years ever. Just in Charlotte alone we will graduate 392 students who overwise may not have graduated.  Regardless of the outcomes for this year we have to hold on to the good things and all the kids we have helped over the years!

Keep your fingers crossed that not too many kids will lose services.

The Magic of Disney

It was really hard to leave the beautiful WARM and sunny weather of Florida to come back but at least by the time I got to Myrtle Beach most of the yuck had gone.  I needed a rainy day to recover and rest anyway so worked out fine.  The week at Disney was indeed magical. Seeing Disney through the eyes of a children is the best part.  I went to Disney with Lori and Paul, Emma who turned 6 while at Disney, Lily 4 1/2, Julia 2 and Jacob 5 months. Erin, Lori's BFF came with us too and she is so cool.  We arrived on Sunday and after having our bags delivered to our room (we never touched them once we took off from the airport, we went straight to the Magic Kingdom.  We stayed in Ft Wilderness in a cute little cabin with a bedroom, kitchen, bath and living area with Murphy bed (the kids thought that was really cool)  To get to the Magic Kingdom we took the boat from the settlement which was really cool too...had a nice beach and that is where we went to the Hoop Dee Doo show and a great country dinner.  They have a campfire each night too roast smores and sing campfire songs!  We spent a day in Epcot and got to go see the World.  They had to go Japan because they thought Karen would be there and Lily kept asking when Karen was coming. So we had to have lunch there in case she came to town!!

We spent one day at Animal Kingdom which was a hoot.   Emma, Paul, Lily and I rode the rafting ride and that was a real challenge because Emma and I got soaked to the bone and it was the first thing we did!  Advice...go river rafting last or at least when it is hot!!    We also spent went back to Magic Kingdom again and spent Emma's birthday.  She was treated to a special treat...she got her hair done and had lunch in the castle with the princesses.  She had a ball!!

The weather was GREAT.  Suggestion if you go to Disney stay in the park, do the dining plan which gives you two snacks a day, lunch and a really nice dinner, provides all the transportation and they treat you royally...worth the money. We were lucky as we got a great deal ...good time to go is March or September and the weather was perfect.

I am so lucky to have a daughter and son-in-law who wanted me to come with them!!!  I got to sleep with Julia and Emma each night so that was actually fun for me.  I am so GLAD that I went on the trip because it was such a special time with my grand kids.   I almost did not go because of work but so glad I decided to put family first...they will be grown and gone before we know it and I would not have wanted to miss this trip.  I have great pictures and many happy memories of this trip.

So excited about going to Disney World with the grand kids.  I have not taken a week and gone away on vacation in years so very excited.   I took Lori to Disney when she was 6 so will be fun to be with her daughter when she turns 6.   As luck would have it the legislature is going to introduce our bill on Tuesday and I really need to be there....thought for a quick 2 seconds that maybe I should be there but then my grandma kicked in and I figure life will go without me.  Emma is so excited.  I think I get to sleep with Julia (the two year old) but doubt that is going to go over with Emma and Lily so figure all four of us will probably be sleeping together.  I think I am glad that with all the bad news on the economy that I can escape for a few days and just chill.  The world of children who are innocent of all of the bad stuff is a great place to be for a few days.  They will certainly make you forget the gloom and doom and once again you can see the world through the eyes of magic.  If you can't be a child again at Disney then we really have lost it...so to the world of Mickey Mouse...here I come!!!

Snow reminds me of my childhood

Finally...it snowed and I got to see it!  Seems like every time it snows in Raleigh I am somewhere else and it is not snowing!  I was in Denver last week and saw a few snowflakes.  I have tried to figure out why I like snow so much.  I think it is because growing up in Virginia where it snowed alot (or at least it seemed to) we use to have so much fun.  Becasue we lived way out the in the country you really could not go anywhere when it snowed not to mention I lived on a road called Snakepath (honestly).  Ginger and I and all of my cousins who lived around us would take our slids and pans and anything else we could use and play until we were frozen.  It seemed to always snow in the night and so we would wake up to a winter wonderfland.  We had tons of trees and they were always so beautifully covered with snow.   I also remember when my Mom died we were sitting by the big picture window which she loved to sit and look out at the snow or flowers in the spring and it started to snow unexpectedly.  I remember we all said that is Mama sending us a message that she is okay.  Interesting, when my Dad died several years later it starting snowing at the burial service.  It was if he was also sending a message.   When it snows I always think that my Mom and Dad are sending me a message....all is okay and we are waiting on you.

STIMULUS and more spending

Okay now the debate is raging.   Spend or not spend?  Invest in the present or invest in the future? Each day it seems that the only news we are getting is bad news or going the economy going from bad to worst.   SO what do we do.   I think the media has scared even those of us who could spend to hole up and buckle down.   This could be a very mixed message.  If those of us who can help propel the economy quit spending then who will fuel the economy back to life.

I guess all of us are asking what happened and how did it happen so fast?  We were assured that if we saved money, invested in retirement and did not outlive our wages that we would have a comfortable and secure life. But what happened?  Did the sins of few bring down the house?  It sure seems that way.  While there was no doubt greed and as my Daddy use to say far too many people trying to live like kings on a beer budget, what happened to those of us who did not live that way. Well it looks like many of "us" are going down the tubes along with the greedy, and personally irreponsible.  I know good hard working people who have lost their jobs because of this mess and then I know those who were living far beyond their means who are now in trouble...but how do we help the deserving and hold the irresponsible accountable?  I don't think we can so therefore we will bail everyone out...the good, the bad and the ugly.  Those of  us who are staying above water will pay as well or at least our grandkids will pay.

Maybe we have all lived in fantasy land for too long and this is a wake  up call for all of us but what a shock.  As I watch my 403 (B) turn in to a 203 (B) I just pray that I can retire by the time I am 75!!  Not my plan but Lord give me my health so I can work forever!  Good thing I love what I do!

From the Colorado Mountains

I am sitting here in Denver, Colorado listening to sessions about alternative schools. Very interesting group of folks who have worked hard to open new models that work for kids who are not making it in regular school.  The models while different in some ways all have the heart and soul of what is good for kids.  It is fun to hear people talk who REALLY care about the kids that others often write off.  My long time friend and colleague, Arlene, is with me so gives us time to debrief and think about different models that work for kids.  All of these are part of national network funded by the Gates Foundation to bring like minded folks together to change the face of education.  We do have some common elements about what is good for kids but the excitement of sharing what really works and what are the most common challenges transcends all of the models.  The burning question is how to do we go to scale so that more children can experience success.    How do we change the school cultur and get the kids to buy in to education?   How do we engage the unengaged?   How do we get the policy makers to embrace and support innovative and creative designs.   How do we get corporate America to embrace change and support change.  I can't help but think if business had created the same products for the last 100 years without changing that the economy would have been in a recession long before now.   We need a New School Stimulus bill that rewards entrepneurship based on results!   What a concept!

I heard a great presentation today on the digital age.  It was pretty exciting and yet scary to think about what kind of connected world we live in today.  The session was really about what adults need to know about the world our kids are living in today and how they are using technology for all aspects of their lives.  We can't stop it so we have to figure out how to join it and use what interest them.  I can see why they think school is boring an irrelevant...it is!   When they can instanly google and find out anything they want to know, when they can use their cell phones to figure out what size tip to make why would they think they need to memorize facts??   Be real...what purpose does it serve?   Knowledge is changing too fast and what you know today may be totally not relevant or even accurate in five years.   I was fascinated and quite shocked by the information share especially knowing that anything I put on this blog will be here FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!

Hidden Children in Mountains

I just watched the 20/20 special on ABC on the children in the mountains of Eastern Kentucky. Having grown up in Virginia and attending college in southwestern Virginia and then teaching in the moutnains, I have seen some of the poverty that was shown. I have also seen it in the moutains of NC too. I think while it highlighted the poverty that it did not tell enough about the independence and goodness that exist in the many of th people in the hollows of the moutains. I have never found kinder, more giving, more appreciative people than I have in some of the mountain counties. There is a rugged, pioneer spirit that still exist. They do not rely on government unless all else fails. The saddest part to me is the way that the drugs have seeped in to the moutains...meth labs have replaced the old stills and are much more dangerous. The story could just as easily have been told in Tennessee, Va, NC, Georgia, West Va or part of Pa...they all struggle with many of the same issues. If there is any good that comes out of this it is that poor children do not just live in our inner cities but the need for HOPE AND HELP exist all across America.

Hope and Help

I did a presentation earlier this week on what kids need today and titled it HOPE and HELP . I debated whether to reverse the order because sometimes it is hard to figure out what comes first...certainly when you are struggling to get food, clothing and shelter you need help and once you have that then you can focus on hope.  Hope for a better future, hope that you can provide a life for children, hope for security, hope for good health.  At the same time if you don't have hope you may not seek help because you simply give up.  Kids who have no hope for their future often don't ask for help.  Maybe they have never had anyone give them anything...even cncouragement so why ask for help since it has never been there before.  After speaking I was driving home and thinking what will the new stimulus package offer...hope or help or both...which one will come first?

the BIG 60!!

This has been an amazing week. We had our 20th anniversary conference for CIS in Pinehurst this week. The staff does an incredible job and once again did an amazing job. Over 280 people braved the threat of snow, the shaky economy and the unknown to come and celebrate, rejuvenate and learn. We started with the African Dance Troupe our of Durham and they were truly fantastic. Using dance, song and inspirational words they go the entire crowd up on their feet chanting and dancing. On top of that they honored me as making the rite of passage ..celebrating my 60th birthday!! "Mama Linda" as I am now called was honored with celebratory dance. I had to dance too (some of my buds told me that I needed African dance lessons since I mixed up my dances) but it was great..then they brought out this giant birthday cake for all to share! Thinking that they had gone way beyond in celebrating my birthday we proceeded with the conference. Cynthia Marshall, from AT&T wowed the crowd with her very impassioned talk and our own Omega was awesome!!! Then came Wednesday night. It is always the tradition to have a dance (although mostly women) we love to line dance and just let go. I walked in to the dance hall totally unprepared for what awaited me....a country and western band was playing (kind of odd for Pinehurst). I looked down on the floor as they were singing happy birthday to me again and lo and behold there was my husband Scott!! Almost have the big one (heart attack) I ran to him, turned around and there was my sister Ginger who had driven in from Winston-Salem. If that was not enough I suddenly realized I had heard the band before and recognized it was our band from beach...the Charlie Brewer Trio (we are roadies of their band). You could have knocked me over with a feather. I have NEVER, EVER been this surprised about anything as I was this party! Since they had already celebrated my birthday the day before I was totally not expecting this!

My family at the CISNC office are way too clever! They pulled a big one over on me and I will forever be grateful to them for the love they show me everyday. They certainly made getting old not feel so badly. Of course we did close the place down and I was on the floor two stepping for the last dance. You can't get an old lady down!

Super Bowl Sunday

The only professional football game I ever watch is the Super Bowl.  Usually I can figure out one team that I can root for but this year I simply don't care.  I think I will pull for the Cardinals just because most people at the beach are for the Steelers, except those die heart Eagles fans who would rather see Russia win.   At any rate, the commericals and the half time show should be good.  We are all preparing for our big annual training event in Pinehurst this week.  Believe it or not they give us the best deal in the state for our conference event ane partner in numerous ways throughout the year with our local program.  We have a board meeting on Wednesday so should be a great week..the only down side is that Tuesday is my 60th birthday!   Yep a new decade is dawning which means that I will be in my 7th decade...um.....I think I will reflect back this week in my blogs what I remember most about each decade of my life..figure I better do it while I can still remember!

Friday night lights

Tonight was Grandmas night. Lori has not been sleeping well  since Jacob her 4th month old has decided night is day and day is night so I offered to come over and take the three older girls - 5 1/2, 4 and 2 with me to spend the night at Karen's (I am housesitting when I am in Raleigh since they are in Japan) Emma and Lily love to come and while it is only a few miles from their house they get to pack back packs and they think  they are on a real adventure. Karen (who use to sell Discovery toys and has the most fun house because she has picture of her kids everywhere) has a warm and friendly house that the girls love....especially Kristin's room which a girly-girl room with bunk beds! They got to meet Kristin over Christmas so now they think she is Princess Diana. Anyway tonight I took the launch and invited Julia-who turned 2 last week-to come also. She packed her backpack just like the big girls and came along so excited. They all played so well until bedtime. Wow I thought this is great...fun and giving Lori a break. Julia does not talk much..just learning or so I thought.  So as usual I let them stay up late but about 9:30 we all went to bed.  Of course each of them wanted me to sleep beside them which normally I sleep in the middle but with three that still means one is not directly connected so we figured out that two would sleep regular way and Julia would sleep on the foot of the bed besides Gagi so that all three were touching me.  Worked fine for Emma and Lily and they feel right to sleep but Julia wanted no part of going to bed....so she talked and played until 11:45 when she crashed.  One would think they would all sleep late especially since a Saturday morning?  But oh no....6:00 am they were up and ready to go again.  Being a brave grandmother) I had offered to baby sit all FOUR of them (they brought the 4 month old over) while they went to a church function.  Other than Jacob having a major meltdown and at the same Julia fell down the steps and got a boo-boo on her cheek we made out fine.  God knew what he was doing when he only lets younger women have babies (I am not sure what planet some of these older women are thinking about )...I love being a Grandma because you can love them, hug on them, endure ONE sleepless night and then give them back.  Will I do this again?  You betcha!!

A voice from the past

As you know from my blogs January is National Mentoring month.  Today I had a wonderful surprise that still brings tears to my eyes.  I was at Commission on Volunteerism and Community Service meeting and one of the Commission members that I have known for years is on the Commission. She was Governor Hunt's chief of staff when I worked with him so we have remained very close friends over the years.  Several years ago we discovered that her "new stepsons had been one of my former students (don't focus on the math please). Anyway she had told him that we worked together.   Today he called me to thank me.  He told me "thank you for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself.  You made a difference in my life and I am forever grateful for it".  Talk about a moving moment.  I still vividly remember him as a cute, little 8th grader with a mop of blonde hair hanging in his eyes who hated school and wanted to spend his life surfing.  He was to say the least a real pistol!  He challenged me and every teacher he had and most of them just kind of gave up on him.  I knew though that his parents were going through an ugly divorce and his Mom was struggling with some serious mental health issues.  So he decided as many kids that age do to get attention in a negative way.  I remember one time he called me from jail (his only quarter) to come and get him because he was scared to call his parents.  Obviously I could not do that so I went and got his Mom, calmed her down so she would not "kill him" as he feared and we went and got him.  Seems he was dabbling in a bit of the whacky stuff and got caught.  The good news is after having him in both 8th and 9th grade, he did transfer to another school but I lost track of him. But low and behold I get a graduation invitation from his mom with a very sweet note thanking me for not letting him drop out.  Four years later I got an invitation from him for his college graduation from East Carolina.  I have kept up with him through his stepmom but today was the first time that I had talked to him.  The cute little kid that was full of it..is now a millionaire businessman....now a bald headed forty year old SUCCESSFUL businessman.  How nice to know that I touched his life in a positive way. Made my day!!!!

A Tragic ending that could have been avoided

I have been reading as probably most folks, about the elderly gentleman who froze to death in his apartment becauses "big, bad  energy company who cut off his electricity. The outcry has been loud and anger seething all aimed at the energy company.

 

First of all he was over $1000 in arrears on his account and secondly he was told how to cut the electricity back on should it be cut off. The cut off serves as a warning that if you don't pay your bills you lose your service. Companies are not social service agencies. Their job is to run a business and to make a profit for their stakeholders.  They need money so they can continue to generate new energy efficient ways for all Americans to have a better quality of life.

That said, yes I do feel badly for that poor old gentleman.  But honestly my first thought was not to blame the energy company-they were just doing business-but to ask where all those concerned neighbors were?   They all seemed to know that he was an elderly gentleman, living  by himselft, was 93 years old and had no family.  Many of those interviewed said they often saw him standing at his window looking out.  They said he never left the house.  They said he lived in a nice neighborhool.  So my question is where were the neighbors?  If they did not feel they could check on him when they saw no lights in the house night after night why did they not call 911 or call the social services or the Senior Center.  In other words what has happened to personal responsibilty in this country where neighbors look after neighbors.

Maybe one way we can give back to the community and our neighborhoods is to take it upon ourselves to make a simple call (he had a phone) or ask the mailman or even call someone else to check on him.  Maybe there should be a list somewhere of all of the elderly folks that only a crisis center has so that folks have an easier way to notify an agency that an elderly person might be in danger.  Maybe relatives-even distant- who have an elderly relative might want to make sure that at least one person in their neighborhood is asked to check on them.  If you don't see any lights on in a house for days and you know it is very, very cold (or hot) that no lights in a house where a 93 year old lives by himself and never goes out would be a warning signal.  Maybe we as as a nation should really care more about others?

I hope there will be some good come out of this tragic situation.  Maybe it will create a neighborhood watch, not just for our own safety but the safety of all including the elderly.

Two Mentors Lost but not forgotten!

This is national mentoring month and North Carolina has lost two of our greatest mentors this week. Coach Kay Yow, coach of the Women's Basketball Team at NCSU and Governor Bob Scott, former Governor of NC and President of the NC Community College. To leave the world a better place than it was before you is a legacy that only a few people can claim. Both Coach Yow and Governor Scott are two people that share that esteemed place. Both of them shared their entire life by giving back to others. While one mentored many a young and aspiring politician, the other mentored thousands of young women (and men) who were graced by her presence. Both of them will be honored and remembered. Both of them leave behind so many people who can say that they touched their lives in positive and profound way! I am one of those so blessed!

What the Inauguration means to me!!!

What the inauguration means to me….

On the eve of the election I have reflected on what this means for me and when I was this excited about an election. I think it was when I was a kid and John Kennedy was in office. Not to tell my age but I was in the seventh grade where you think you know everything and especially if it is completely opposite of what your parents think. My Dad, born and raised in the South, was a die heart Democrat until it came to Kennedy and then oh my goodness you would have thought he came from Mars. He could not imagine a Catholic in the White House. Of course he had never set foot in a Catholic church. Of course it did help some that my best friend at school, Mary Liz (whose mom was from Panama) was a Catholic and I even got to go to Mass with her one time. She even came to our Southern Baptist Church. However that did not deter my Dad from being highly skeptical of someone other than a Baptist being in the White House and a Yankee to boot!

From the time I can remember I was interested in politics. My Dad and I argued all the time about issues. My Mom and younger sister did not understand that we were having a great time debating as neither of them had any interest in politics. My sister to this day still has no idea or cares about politics as she actually wrote in Jimmy Buffett for President...thankfully it was a secret ballot so no one really knows that. I thrived on reading about politics and fully planned as a youngster to go to Harvard or Yale and become a lawyer and run for Governor one day. At that point in my young life I had not been told that women did not run for political office or that young women could not take some subjects because they would distract the boys in class or that of course we had no money and the only choice I would have to go to college was to find scholarships to a state college.

Being young my enthusiasm continued and I took journalism class and wrote about my idol President Kennedy. I followed his every move and that of Jackie and family. Until that fateful day in November when I was in journalism class and the principal announced over the loud speaker that President Kennedy had been shot. It still seems like yesterday and when I reflect on it tears still come to my eyes.

In spite of the horrible year that followed, President Kennedy had left an impression on me and a challenge in my heart that I needed to continue with my dream. Then came high school and I left the comfort zone of my small school which I had attended since first grade, and got to go the big regional high school that had merged five small community high schools in to one large comprehensive high school. Just as others before me and after me, I found high school to be exciting but mostly it was about the boys and not the education that caught my attention. I joined every club possible, was a cheerleader until I decided I would rather someone cheer for me by playing basketball than stand on the sidelines and cheer for someone else, so I jumped in full force. I ended up being all district. I actually tried to take some higher level courses but was told that I could not take them because I was a girl. Honest, I was denied acceptance to a trig class because I was the only girl!

You have to remember back then in small southern towns, we had only a few choices if we wanted to be anything else than a stay at home mom. I could be a nurse, a teacher or a secretary. I chose to go in to teaching and at the beginning of my sophomore year became a member of Future Teachers of America where I served my junior and senior year as president. I also had not lost my love for politics and for social issues, so figured I could at least major in social sciences and political science.

I graduated in 1967 right at the height of the Vietnam War and started college at Radford University, at that time the second largest women’s’ college in the US. I loved the small classes, having real professors and loved history and social studies. I thought that I would become a social worker until I found out that more jobs were available in teaching than social work and that I could teach in underserved schools where I would actually be a social worker/teacher.

I also got married! Yep. As the ripe old age of 19 my high school sweetheart who had gone to Virginia Tech and I decided to get married. Being underage my parents had to sign for me to get married. My husband was only 20 so we were not ready to get married. What were my parents thinking!!

The good news is that I had to make a commitment that I would graduate from college and I swore that I would do so. Although we both had to work ourselves to death I did in fact accomplish that goal. Although being young, married, and a very poor college student is not recommended, we did it. Both of us graduated, stayed focused and put off having children. Then came 1970 and my husband was #13 on the role call for the draft. The next few years was a continuation of riots, debates and frustration as a war we did not understand kept taking our young men, many of whom did not come back. Fortunately my husband was able to get in to the National Guard and only had to be gone for six months of training. I moved back on campus (cheapest way to continue) and once he got out he took a job in Winston-Salem. He had majored in accounting one of the hottest jobs at that time.

Since I was in a Virginia college I had to finish on campus and drove back and forth every weekend in the fall from Winston-Salem to Radford to attend classes. I remember driving up old 52 up Fancy Gap Mountain before I-77 was built and now cannot even think that any sane person would have done that!! But I was young, in love and invincible!

I was so lucky because the next semester I got to start my teaching career. I got a job student teaching and then teaching at the foot of Fancy Gap Mountain in a small school just over the state line in Cana. It was my dream come true. It was a small Appalachian community where all the kids were very poor but I truly felt that I was giving them a ticket out of poverty. It was a truly unique experience. The parents loved the teachers and treated us as if we were majesty. I remember being invited to homes of the parents, getting home baked goods and visiting the homes of all of my students. I remember the poverty. So many of my children were sleeping in one room shacks with dirt floors but they were happy kids and loved school. It was their escape. Most of the kids did not know they were poor because they had nothing to compare it to and at that time in the 60’s poverty was rampant.

I wanted to stay in that school system forever but because it was so far to travel each day I knew that I would have to try to find a job closer to home. I applied for a teaching job in the Winston-Salem school system. I remember my interview in which I said that I wanted to teach ninth grade. I also remember the director of personnel, Mike Lee, looking up over his reading glasses asking me to repeat what I had just said. He said it might be first time anyone had ever asked to teach ninth grade (after my first semester I understood why) SO I got a job teaching at Carver High School. It was the first year of court ordered integration and Carver, which had been one of the premier black high schools, was relegated to a school for ninth and tenth graders and kids from the most rural part of Forsyth County were bused in to the school. It was an interesting year in which I am sure I learned so much more about life and kids than they certainly learned from me about social studies. Classes were full. We taught six classes a day with sometimes up to 45 students in a class. Sometimes if they all came (which was rare) some students had to sit on the window sills. KKK members protested outside, all the doors were locked and guards were in the parking lots. It was also the height of LSD and experimentation had shifted from college to high schools. Vietnam was still raging and kids were constantly losing parents, brothers or sometimes sisters who were either killed or going off to war. It was not unusual to have the emergency squads on campus taking another “overdosed kid” to the hospital. I remember one time I was convinced that a student had overdosed in my class when he was in fact having an epileptic seizure but fortunately we discovered in time to get him the help he needed. His Mom had forgotten to inform the school that this might happen.

My four years at Carver were a true learning experience from the first day of class when I had one of my students stand up and say “Ms. Lady this classroom looks like an Oreo cookie….the chocolate on the outside and the cream in the middle”. Of course it did because I had seated one black, one white, one black, one white to help them integrate. The funny thing was they did not need us to do this for them they did it for themselves. If the adults on the outside had just left things alone the kids have an amazing ability to adapt.

I learned so much from those kids that year. Most of them, like my Appalachian mountain kids, had very little in terms of riches but they had heart. They had wisdom far beyond their years and they taught me that any child can learn when we understand them and give them support, encouragement and love.

It was a great experience teaching there. It was a wonderful faculty of caring teachers –some young and inexperienced and some older more experienced teachers but we survived and thrived. Some of the teachers are still in education to this day although most are retired.

My experience there also started my interest in special education. I had a particular student named Perry who was one of the most verbally talented young men I knew but the child could not write or read a word. He was so sweet he had been passed from one grade to another. Being stumped I attended a class at Bowman Gray School of Medicine where they were talking about highly gifted children who could not read or write correctly. They read backwards. For some reason I wondered if this was Perry’s case so I asked them to see him and they agreed. Much to my amazement they determined that he had a SEVERE case of dyslexia and to this day he was probably one of the most severe I have seen. Fortunately he got help (years of help) and graduated from high school and as I understand it still has one of the most successful garden centers in the area.

Perry also taught me that even the kids we want to give up can learn...maybe differently but they can learn. I went to Bowman Gray and studied minimal brain dysfunction which is now called learning disabilities. In 1974 along came 94.142 which made it a federal law that any child regardless of disability or ability to attend a public school. Child find was launched to find kids who should be in school.

Later I would teach in junior high, then middle school and again in high school. I would teach in inner city schools, suburban schools, but mostly poor schools and I would always CHOOSE to teach those students that were not being successful. I taught regular education but some of my greatest challenges and success was teaching students with learning differences and behavioral issues. I got kids out of jail, picked kids up the middle of the night, comforted moms who had their kids arrested or suspended and even helped kids escape from some pretty serious stupid things they that would have gotten them in jail or worse.

Fast forward through years of graduate school, certifications and random experiences from teaching in college to having my own consulting company where it did not take me long to figure out that the ones that could afford me did not need me and the ones that needed me could not afford me. Thus I chose to move in to the nonprofit sector. Twenty years later I understand why they call it NOT FOR PROFIT. It completely works backward from economic theory of supply and demand. As the needs and demand go up the supply of money goes down. Our sector is supposed to do more with less. We are supposed to work for lower wages and yet have incredible demands on our professional judgment and our emotional challenges.

I have learned so much along the way about what it means to come together for a common purpose. In my work with Communities In Schools of North Carolina I have worked with grass roots groups all across the state, worked with national non profits, state and local government, individual, local and state leaders. I have worked with business leaders, agency leaders, civic leaders and politicians. I have found caring, considerate although sometimes misdirected people who want to make a difference. I have also met people who were paid to help our children become the best they can be yet don’t really believe that all children can learn. While publically they would never acknowledge that they have little faith in some student’s ability their actions speak louder than words. I have had school leaders tell me that I was crazy for believing in “those kids”. I have had other teachers question me or my student teachers about why they were even trying with the kids who aren’t making it. In their belief system we are wasting our time. But I have also seen teachers, and other professionals go way beyond what was rationale to help a child learn to read, overcome a family issue or deal with frustration and failure.

Today I am excited. A new President has been elected. An African American President. When I think back to growing up in the rural south where my best friend and playmate, Helen, was not allowed inside my house, where her Mom and Grandma who loved my family, baked me birthday cakes and were the only black people who came to my grandfather and father’s funerals. Where finally my senior year in high school I walked proudly down the aisle of the First Baptist church in our town with the first black student to come to our school. Where we as young people embraced Ruby but watched as some of the adults walked out when we walked in that Sunday morning. I have hope!

It is also snowing in Myrtle Beach for the first time in five years. I can’t help but believe it is a sign of hope. When both my Mom and Dad died it snowed on the day of their funeral. I took that as a sign that things were going to be okay. I believe the same today. We are going to be okay. We as a nation are going to survive and eventually we will thrive again. My hope is this next time it will be more inclusive and where hate, greed and jealousy have often gotten in our way of making things better for all people, we can put those differences aside. We have to believe to achieve. I believe!

Linda Harill

January 17, 2009

MENTOR- BE the ONE

BE the ONE WHO CARES-MENTOR

 

The state of education is dismal and the future for our children is unsettling at best.   Far too many kids are dropping out of school and not making it to the finish line.  But there is hope.  Many children who otherwise would not graduate are in fact graduating and many are CHOOSING to continue to higher education because they have been given inspiration and hope from a CARING ADULT.

You can be that caring adult in a child’s life.   These young people have so much promise but it is often lost in the maze of adolescence.  Life is so much more complicated now for our young people because they are exposed to so much more negative information at younger and younger ages.  Most of them do not have the maturity to make good choices without the help of a wise adult steering them in the right direction.  Most of us are blessed to have a least one parent who gave us the words of wisdom, encouragement or sometimes that needed extra push.  Many of our children do not have that “someone” in their lives and even when they are fortunate to have a caring adult, one adult may not be enough to steer them away from the life on the streets, the lure of riches from the media and drug dealers or the call of the gangs.

President Obama is ushering in a new call for action.   Not unlike leaders in the past he is making a call for service.  I was called to serve by President John Kennedy and have dedicated my professional life to teaching and non-profit work.  While I am certainly not going to retire rich (if at all) I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I made a difference in the lives of many children over the years as evidenced by the cards and letters I still receive from former students.  But each of us can make a difference in a child’s life.  Time is so much more important to our children than any other gift we can give.  Time and time again I hear young adults say they made it because someone took the time to care about them, ask how they were doing, inquire about their likes and dislikes, ask them about their future and then help them think through how to get it.

The nation’s economic crisis has made us all evaluate what is really important in our lives..healthy, family, friends, stability and a place to call home.  But is should also be a time to ask ourselves, “What can I do to make this world a better place.  What can I do to help enrich the life of someone else?  What can I do that will make a difference for this next generation of young people who are scared, frightened and very lonely for someone to care?”

January is National Mentoring month.  Take time to thank someone who helped you– a neighbor, pastor, teacher, friend, family member or that someone who had no reason to help except that they wanted to make a difference in your life.  Pass it on….be a MENTOR for someone who needs you.

Linda Harril, President/CEO

Communities In Schools of NC/NC Mentoring Partnership

 

Op Ed article

Economic Woes Likely to Increase Dropout Rates

By:  Linda R Harrill, President/CEO, Communities In Schools of NC

The dismal economic news is daunting.  Every day we hear about more job layoffs.  Every day more adults are out of work. We need to be aware of the effect this has on children as well as on adults.

In North Carolina alone, over 39,000 children will be displaced because of the mortgage crisis.  This means children may have to leave their neighborhoods and schools, moving away from family and friends.  Research suggests that moving during adolescent years has a negative impact on a child's academic and social well being.  Younger children tend to adapt to new schools and new environments more readily than older youth.  When the world is changing around them, the loss of a sense of community can be devastating for adolescents.  Children without a strong, positive peer group are more likely to fall into whatever peer group that is most accepting, often the group of students who are themselves feeling loss and are without sense of purpose.  Normal adolescence is a challenging time for even the most stable families, but adding the stress of job loss or change of lifestyle and economic worries increases the risk of a child engaging in risky behaviors such as drugs and sex, and increases the chance of experiencing mental health issues.

With the loss of jobs comes the loss of health insurance in many cases.  Students without health insurance are much less likely to go to the doctor and seek medical help.  Since most school attendance policies require a doctor’s note for an excused, even legitimate absence, the numbers of unexcused absences are likely to increase.  In many school districts the primary reason for suspension from school and school failure is poor attendance.  Students who are given unexcused absences and fail are much more likely to drop out of school.

We are already seeing evidence that younger children are being asked to take part-time jobs to help cover the basic costs of food, clothing and shelter, another sad by-product of the economic tsunami that has hit North Carolina.  Older siblings are often asked to stay home and take care of younger siblings because parents cannot afford to miss a day of work or pay for childcare.  Some older youth will feel they must drop out of school to get a job.  They believe they must financially help their families now.  Most young adults do not make decisions based on long-term outcomes but rather react to the immediate future. 

Many parents are not aware of the strict attendance policies of schools, assuming their children can make up missed work, but in most cases students are not allowed make up work missed as the result of an unexcused absence.  Ten days out of school with unexcused absences is a ticket to failure.  North Carolina had over 80,000 students retained in grade last year.  It is an enormous challenge for schools to catch them up. 

Communities In Schools has recommended funding graduation coaches in the most distressed middle and high schools.  If approved, these full-time staff members will help remove barriers that are keeping our children from graduating from high school. Their job will be to work with individual students and families to keep children coming to school and on track to graduate.  While the economy and certainly the state budget is uncertain, we must continue to invest in our children, our future workforce, so that when the economy does rebound, our children have become the skilled and educated workers who can fill the jobs a revitalized economy will produce.  We simply cannot afford to continue to see our graduation rates decline at a time when the demands of the 21st century workplace and our future economic viability depends on a state with a well educated, well prepared workforce.  Improving the graduation rate from high school is not just an education issue; it is an economic stimulus issue.  If we do nothing we will continue to see dropout rates increase.  We cannot afford the future bailouts a nation of young people who are uneducated, unskilled and unprepared for the future will require.

 

 

Rethinking Education

Rethinking Dropout Prevention

There has been a recent tendency to panic over the dismal high school graduation rates in many places. It is cause for alarm and hopefully we have a wake up call across this country that we have a serious issue with young people not completing high school. However there is a word of caution...students don't just decide to dropout when they hit ninth grade. In NC we give young people permission to dropout at the age of 16 and for many young people who struggle in school that means either the end of eighth grade of early ninth grade. But dropping out does not start at ninth grade it starts much earlier when students start to fail, do not master the basic skills early, are socially promoted without the necessary mastery of subject matter, stop doing homework and skip school. It starts when parents decide that children do not need their daily supervision and encouragement is critical to their child's success. It starts when parents allow children to skip their homework because either the parent or child is too busy to get it done. It starts when parents do not demand that their older elementary and middle school students do not have the best teachers and demand accountability. I have even heard parents say "middle school doesn't matter because it does not count". I would argue that grades four through eight are some of the most critical grades for students.

Academically students are required to do higher level thinking skills the higher the grade but you cannot do higher order thinking if you have not mastered the basics of reading and math. We should not breathe a sigh of relief when our child barely passes the End of Grade test because this is clear indicator that they have not mastered the subject. The question we need to ask is yes they passed but have they mastered the skills and are they at sufficient grade level to succeed in the next grade.

I am very fearful as we begin a new level of accountability that students in high school will need to score Level 3 on their End of Course test to complete the course that we will see even more students dropout because they cannot meet the new requirements. No longer will just passing the course be sufficient. They must pass with a much higher level of accountability.

I urge policymakers, school leaders, parents and others to pay much more attention to the students "in the middle". These are critical years for students academically, socially and emotionally. These are the years that students engage more actively with their peers. These are the years that they start to practice what parents have tried to embed in them. These are the years that they make decisions that will impact them for a lifetime whether it is to become sexually active, join a gang, start skipping school, quit completing their homework. These are the years we often see parents start to pull away from their children, become less involved in their schooling and sometimes give them too much independence.

As we attack with vigor the high school graduation rates in the state, let us be sure that we are attacking it at the root causes not just what is the most apparent. Let us make sure that we are building a continuum of support and services to help our children succeed. In NC we have done a good job of providing support and resources to early education and preschool and now high school reform but let us not forget the children in the middle. If we do not invest wisely in the middle grades and realize that dropout prevention is critical in these grades then we will continue to see our efforts too little too late.

Communities In Schools one of the largest community based network of local organizations focused on dropout prevention provides services and interventions at every grade level. We have learned that graduation increases also means that we must help students succeed in school at every grade level and also ensure that we are preparing them for their future. There is compelling new research that shows that you can predict student graduation rates by looking at fourth grade so why are we waiting? Let's rethink dropping out as a steady progression not a one time event.

Good decision!!!!

Governor Bev Perdue has done a super job of by appointing Dr. Bill Harrison as the new Chairman of the State Board of Education and Executive Director of the DPI. I think it would actually have been better if they had left Dr. June Atkinson as the leader and Bill as the Chair of the State Board of Education but since that would evidently cause a long and protracted debate in the legislature, I think this is the best thing. Bill and June should work very well together and each brings different strengths to the job. I have had the priviledge of working with both of them for many years and have tremendous respect for their and knowledge. This new partnership in gives me hope that we can get some concrete things done in education that will dramatically affect education. Bill Harrison is a truly, caring, dedicated individual who will bring a new sense of direction to the public schools.

Some GOOD education news

Just found out one of the people I admire the most just got named to Chair the State Board of Education and serve as the Executive Director of DPI.  Good news for us and for the children of NC.  I have know and worked with Bill for years and think he is truly one of the most talented, gifted, truly dedicated indiviuals I know.   He will be a wonderful leader as he has done in the past in all of the school systems he has worked with over the years.  I am finally excited...now let's see who the Education Advisor is for the Governor.

Maybe it is the small things

My husband I were just talking about growing up and how different our lives were.  He grew up in a small town in the foothills of the mountains.  It was a mill town and everyone worked in the mills.  His house was a very small two bedroom, frame house that sat beside the railroad tracks and behind his Grandmas house.  He was an only child.  His father worked at the electric company a few miles away as an accountant having gone to a UNC two year program on accounting.  His Mom who was 12 years older than him worked third shift in the mills.  She did this so she could put Scott to bed and be home to get him off to school.  She would also bake pies for the local drug store that were sold each morning.  He went to church, walked to the movie and played golf at the little nine hole public golf course across the street.  He was somewhat a loner, being an only child and was always surrounded by adults mostly aunts, uncles.  Everything was a family affair in which parents took their kids.  He also spent a great deal of time at the local pool hall and no it did not corrupt him but gave him a safe place to hang out because everyone knew his Mom and Dad.  He has such happy memories of spending time with his parents, taking vacations together and playing golf with his Dad and just hanging out.  He was not the star athletes (until he became the best golfer in the county) but he was not a scholar-not because he was not smart but he was just not interested.

What he has made me realize though is how different his humble beginnings were from what he and I gave to our own children.  We wanted a better life for them.  We wanted them to have the things we did no have because we thought that was what we were suppose to do..make life better for them than our parents gave to us. But I am now beginning to wonder who really had the most enriched life.  Was it Scott who ate dinner every night with his parents, went on family vacations and had his parents attend all of his events?  Or was it our kids who seldom saw their Dad and rarely had dinner with them.  Who have no memories of family vacations because Daddy always had to work.  Was it Scott who spent time with adults as part of an extended family or was it our kids who did not live near any of their relatives.

As we have talked I think about how we are hearing that this generation of children may be the first ones not to be better off than their parents but what does that really mean.  Does it mean they will not have as many materials things as their parents (our kids)  Does it mean they may have to go to college closer to home or heaven forbid a community college?  Does it mean they may actually live in the same town or even state that they grew up in?

Perhaps there is some good in all of this economic challenge.  Maybe it will give us a chance to sit back and reevaluate our own lives and those we wish for our grandchildren.  

Obama

I love the new spirit of hope.  I know that no president can fix the problems of today but I think what we need mostly right now is hope.  Hope that there is a better tomorrow.  Hope that we can return to some of our basic values that made this country great and hope that our government can actually respond in a positive and proactive manner.  I think we had let our collective lives get out of whack.  We have spent too much money and paid too little attention to the possibility that life could change.  Perhaps an advantage to getting older is that you realize that life is short and that every day you spend with family and friends is a gift.  In 1988 we got hit by a tornado and when you come so close to losing everything you really do appreciate the things that matter.  It can be quite sobering but it also gives you a renewed appreciation that things will return to normal...maybe a new kind of normal.